Why Hellooo My Lovelies, I thought you would like a little update on my Stateside shenanigans. But Shhh…this little sharing is top hot gossip and totally secret!
I can confirm that the city of New York continues with the Angel Love Fest. I have been winded and dined, feted and adored. I have been working so hard my paws have hardly touched the ground. All in a day’s work for a beautilicious Global Icon. You know that saying ‘All work and no play? I have a little secret. Shhh…Come closer. I shall burst if I don’t tell someone, and you, My Lovelies, are the chosen ones!
Naughty Moi, I have been playing! Not a word to Grannie tho’ as I had to be a touch sneaky and get rid of her for quite a few hours. After all I don’t want her going back to Tewin and blabbing, gossip soon gets around our village! Not that there is too much to tell as I am so hugely considerate of others feelings, and would never put myself first and do anything that could possibly upset anyone. Also I don’t want my fur to fly when I eventually get home and my Beloved finds out about me and a little Affair De Coeur. Not, of course, there is anything much to find out, ahem… So a word to the wise, My Lovelies, ‘What happens in the Hamptons stays in Hamptons!’
You may recall the unfortunate incident when that rotten frenemy of mine, Kimbles, craftily encouraged me to have one Prosecco too many and I let spill way too much. Ohh, that girl was a total biatch snitching to my beloved Hamish about all those other boys. Thankfully I got away with it, Er, I mean, ahem…He believed me! O’er, I do hope he doesn’t take her out to dinner again, Grumph.
Anyway, moving rapidly on from Hamish and Kimbles, in all the whirlwind round of book signings, Press, P.R and Meet and Greets, I have pulled off a secret tryst in The Hamptons with the Cutest Canine!!! The fame game can get a tad overwhelming, even for one as awesome as me and a girl needs the odd diversion. So his name is Mason, he’s a Mastiff. All rippling Muscles, powerful jaw, you know the type. I met him at a TV interview. He is an actor. And his eyes…intense. Mason does a lot of those blockbuster movie thingies. I have to admit getting bored watching anything that is not a home movie of me, so I did not really know who he was. He liked that. He gets a lot of girls chasing him ‘cos of the Movie Star thing. I told him I have the same problem back in my English country village, Tewin, what with being so beautilicious and all.
After finding out we had just sooo much in common, we arranged a sneaky date, as you do. So I am all dressed up looking totally hot, apart from having a Grannie tagging along as a totally last season accessory. Hmm, I don’t think so! I switched my brain into gear. Diversionary action was called for immediately as Mason had a Helicopter waiting on my posh hotel’s Helipad to whisk us off to his posh house in The Hamptons. Ohh, I can report that we had a delicious moonlit dinner and even more delicious smooochiieeepoo’s on his private beach. Definitely a Grannie free zone. If Grotty, Er I mean Grannie, had come along riding shotgun, she would have severely cramped my style. Also, I couldn’t trust her not to snitch. Erm, not that there was anything much to tell, but as already agreed, a word to the wise…
‘What Happens in The Hamptons, stays in The Hamptons!!!’
‘So Angel, pray do tell, just how did you get rid of the excess baggage?’ You may well solicitously enquire.
Snuggle up My Lovelies, I have a yummy plate of blinis topped with smoked salmon, cream cheese and Beluga caviar. We shall have a delicious glass of Verve Cliquot to wash them down. Mmm…nice isn’t it? I have lots more where that came from so sip up and I will tell all! My cunning plan went as follows…
‘Grannie, I’m thirsty.’
‘I’ll get room service immediately my poppet, what would you like, pink Champagne?’
‘Yes please Grannie. I think I deserve some Champers, don’t you?’
‘Oh indeed I do, Angelkins!’
‘But I don’t fancy pink and I checked, they don’t do what I Want, Need, Now…and I feel a little hissy fit coming on…’
‘O’er, Angel, what is it? Grannie will go and get whatever you want, anything you need, and I will do it right now. Maybe a nice Prosecco?’
‘Really Grannie, really, really, anything, anywhere???’
‘Yes Angel, My sweet Pupster.’
‘Yes, My Poppet.’
‘Well, OK Grannie, as long as it is not toooo much trouble to look after me when I am just a helpless little Pupster?’
‘Nothing is too much trouble for you, baby girl.’
‘Hmm…OK…If you really insist. Grannie I really don’t fancy Prosecco. What I really want is a little bit more upmarket. I think I deserve only the best, don’t you Grannie?’
‘Of course I do Angel, my fur-baby love.’
‘Oh good. I am glad we agree on that. So please may I have a little case of Veuve Cliquot La Grande Dame. That should go down rather nicely.’
‘This is an exclusive Manhattan Hotel, are you sure Room Service can’t get it, they have got a Siberian Tiger for that Prince on the 35th Floor!!?’
‘No…You have to go over to LaGuardia ‘cos My publishers are sending it on the next flight from Paris with some Beluga caviar.’
‘O.K…that will take me some time in rush hour traffic, My Precious.’
‘Yes, yes, I know… And Er, Grannie…’
‘Yes, Angel My Love?’
‘The elevators are broke, you have to take the stairs.’
‘What, all 53 floors?’’
Grrr. It’s not like you don’t need the exercise Grannie Dearest. Just sayin’ and you should be grateful that really I am doing you huge favour by asking a teensy weensy little thing. So don’t waste time thanking me, you best get cracking.’
So she did, and so did I! Off on a totally awesome date nite with a Hollywood Hottie!
All the ramifications from my Stateside flirtations revealed in my latest Magnum Opus
Beautilicious Angel is taking just the biggest, yummiest bite out of the Big Apple! Life is awesome for the Brit sensation now she is an uptown girl in a Manhattan Penthouse. Angel is about to find out that Fame has its price. Her ‘it’s complicated love life is just about to get even more tangled. The little Diva Dog’s clandestine date with Hollywood Hottie, Mason the Mastiff makes headlines. When she is later papped with his twin brother, intellectual Shaunessey, Angel decides she ‘cannot confirm nor deny…’ to the hungry Press pack baying for news. Back home, True Love Handsome Hamish wants answers! Angel returns to face the music, only to find arch Frenemy Kimbles, the biatch Bichon Frise is not only trying to steal her thunder but also her man! Hmm, but which one??? Things are not going Angel’s way, until she decides to unleash her secret weapon, Grannie, on her unsuspecting Frenemy! The fur is set to fly. Just who will be top dog? Snuggle up and share another scintillating secrets session with ‘The Paws!’ It’s all totally hush-hush, so peek inside, riotous Canine Capers will be revealed! Shhh…Don’t tell!
Our Pawsome Pooch is on Amazon!